Monday, April 27, 2009

Exactly where I should be, doing exactly what I should be doing.

Yesterday I tired my children out by taking them on 4 trains and two ferries, played for hours at the huge play area at Darling Harbour, and splashed a lot in the numerous water features there. My daughter fell asleep on the way home in the car (she had arisen at 5am that morning, after all) and could not be roused. My son and I stayed up playing Wii and watching rubbish television, too tired to achieve much else. He went to bed at 830pm. Although my eyes were ready for bed, I couldn't resist wanting my last cup of tea, and watching one show, just for me.......Then my daughter woke up, and Playschool came on, and that is what I got to watch before bed. I pulled the words out I had been saying for the last few days to myself - I am exactly where I am supposed to be, doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing.
Anyone will tell you I am a very busy person, with always something to do, and be occupied with. In fact, the one clairvoyant I have ever seen told me, that I am not a person who wastes a moment. There is nowhere that I go that I don't take something with me to read, or do while I wait. This, of course, translates to IMPATIENCE. However, as I say, the above words have been soothing me as I hung with the kids over the holidays. Whenever something came in to my mind that I could be doing, or watching or reading, or writing, I just reminded myself that here, with my children, hearing, seeing, being with them, was what I am supposed to be busy doing.
Where did this come from? Eckhart Tolle. I was listening to one of his recordings, where he explained how people waste their time wanting to be in moments that do not exist yet, in the future, instead of being in the present moment. And when that future moment actually happens, they are not present then, either, as they are already looking out toward the next moments. Eckhart Tolle used the example of taking a drink of water, which he supposedly did in front of his unseen audience. He said, that even as many take up the glass to drink, they are looking ahead to having drunk, as they drink, they are looking toward the moment when they replace the glass on the table. This gives a person a constant feeling of disastifaction as they are NEVER experiencing what they want, as it always lies in the future. Tolle suggested that what we are doing THIS MOMENT is what we are supposed to be doing, nothing in the future, nothing other than just this. And it even works for me, who is always thinking of ways to do more. Yesterday I lay in the sun, as my children played, and thought, this is exactly where I am supposed to be, doing exactly this, and enjoyed it.
For more on resistance see this previous post.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Choosing Happiness for Kids

So, we are half way through school holidays. There has been a week of pancakes, lollies, chips and sausages, AND holiday house, beach, movies, friends, staying up late. Yet my 7 year old son still pulls out the sad face when I say no to one of the many requests for more throughout the day. “I'm bored.” “You never let us have anything special.” “Holidays are supposed to be fun!” And once again Mummy tries to explain the choice of happiness.It hits me that my boy thinks its easy for me to choose happiness – I'm an adult with no one telling me what to do. I can do whatever I like. So I explain that everyone has to live within certain limits. My limits are the need to work to pay for our living costs, I have to do as my boss says so I can continue to be payed. Where we live, car we drive, things we have, holidays we can experience are limited by our means,. I am also limited by taking care of my children, what I can do, when, where. Thus I live with certain limits, but choose, within those limits, to live happily – to be satisfied, not fight against my limits, and so live in ease. My children, I point out, have the limits set by me, but within those limits still have freedom to be happy. Fighting the limits, never being satisfied with what they have, or what they are doing is just a chosen perspective that leads to unhappiness.
The 7 year old said he understood, but he could have just been trying to shut me up, so we could get on with doing something more fun.
Interested in learning some practical ways to be happy, and live in south Sydney? Check out this post for information about my Practical Happiness Workshop.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Fathers Call

Probably shouldn't have been there, but I took the kids out for a little night time ride on the bikes, while we are on holidays. I heard a raised voice, and found the source at the public phone box, just where my son decided to do slalem around the poles, extending our time nearby. I hurried us on, not wanting to intrude on this man's conversation, but not before I heard him say forcefully that “I could easily jump off a bridge, I am feeling that bad – but I wont do that....” before we rode off.
It made me sick to think of his situation, and it is not a feeling I am unfamiliar with. Was this man a single Dad, arguing about how his life has changed through seperation, with his ex wife? I don't know, but did leap to that conclusion. Even if I was wrong, the incident had me thinking of the men that are out there, just bereft, confused, and alone. Men do not always have the means to communicate their needs and fears, encumbered as they can be with an old male standard of strength. But that standard does not help them much faced with the loss of their family.
Perhaps it can be easy to write off another's feelings, or undermine them, because of some wrongs they have does us, but these men are still the father of our children. A child's idea of men, their roles as parents and partners, all go toward their development into healthy, happy individuals. Supporting fathers is an important way to support our kids.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Practical Happiness Workshop

I am running a Practical Happiness Workshop during May for those of you who may be wondering how to achieve greater happiness in life. The workshop will be run over three weeks, three meetings of two hours each conducted in the Southern area of Sydney, commencing the 13th of May.

We will look at many hands on ways to promote a happier, more calm, centred lifestyle.
If you are interested in making positive changes in your life, please email me for course details, and to register.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Eckhart Tolle.

Last month I had the good fortune to be present for one of Eckhart Tolle's presentations in Sydney at the Convention centre, Darling Harbour. He is the author of The Power of Now, and A New Earth, and speaks about living in the moment, and about the disruptive power of the Ego. I wrote an article about the presentation, which you can now see in Nova Magazine-a free spiritual magazine. It is available on line, at this address

In the process of writing the article, I found another way to access Eckhart Tolle, and that is through Silent Group Meditations. I have since become a registered fascilitator, and am conducting group meditations in Illawong, south Sydney. The next will be held on Wednesday the 6th of May, 6.30pm.
During these get togethers there will be a time of silent meditation, then we will listen to a recording of Eckhart Tolle's, and close with further meditation. There will be a brief period for light discussion afterwards, but this will not be extensive, as the idea is to quietly absorb the insights, and create and maintain peace within. The evening will be 2 - 3 hours in duration.
These groups are an opportunity for an evening of quiet group meditation, and to share many of the Eckhart Tolle insights into inner peace, the Power of Now, universal consciousness, and A New Earths' concepts of Ego.
Come along and perhaps find the keys you may need to move forward on your spiritual journey, or just enjoy the dynamic experience of group meditation with like minded people.

Please send an email to for further details, and to book a place, or phone me on 0422 801 981.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Empower Yourself

I am fairly typical of the trend now to have children late, and I have found myself wondering how I am going to stay healthy and young enough to enjoy my children and grandchildren, when I am already in my forties. (My daughter is still in pre-school!) So, the title of the book Strong Women Stay Young, by Miriam E. Nelson did grab my attention.
Nelson writes, from a doctors perspective, about the loss of bone density which is common in the aging body. What astounded me is that you can build bone density back up. How amazing is the human body?! To do this, you need to do weight bearing exercises, and Nelson goes on to show which exercises will do that, what equipment you will need, and how to do them at home. You only need to exert yourself twice a week, and although the author claims it will only take half an hour, I can only get the workout down to 45 minutes.
Do I like doing this? NO. But I feel great! I feel strong. Everyday I have reason to acknowledge my strength as I pick up a child, carry the shopping in, walk the hills in my local area, or set up camp (while pursuing my newest interest, camping).
This strength gives me motivation to keep up the twice weekly effort. I also find making my health and body's longevity a priority really supports my self esteem and self respect.
So, some weight training can both strengthen your emotional being as well as your physical being.